Black and White
"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” - Rumi
I have always lived my life according to black and white rules. It is either right or wrong, good or bad, pain or no pain. What I am learing to realize is that sometimes things just are and sometimes the shades of grey are acceptable.
I can celebrate that I have less pain even if there is still some pain. I can look back at the footprints in the sand of my life and realize that I may not be where I want to be but look how far I have come. I can look at the rules of right and wrong and realize that life will not always play by my rulebook and sometimes I have to bend the rules.
What matters is simply that I enjoy today because I will never get it back and if I spend everyday looking for perfect my entire life will pass me by. So today I will open my heart to the nuances all around me the beautiful and the ugly, the pleasure and the pain and just live.
A New Experience
This is my very first blog post. I don't expect that anyone but myself will ever read it but I am not concerned about that. My goal with this blog is to document my journey as I try to become more present and aware and I learn to open up and share myself with those around me. My need to protect myself has come between me and real true relationships for most of my life and I am determined to change that.
I need to change the focus in so many ways in my life, to let go of so many things. There are so many things I have tethered myself to, self inflicted punishments for perceived short comings. So many things I need to let go of in order to free my spirit and really truly live my life. I am committed to doing this, and this is the start of the journey.